Divorce hits you 20 times harder than a car accident

At first glance, the concept behind marriage insurance may look like the complete antithesis of what a marriage stands for. And believe me, I get it. Why would I pay money to insure something that should never be broken? Isn't marriage a life-long bond between 2 people? Allegedly, yes. Sensibly, the line between fantasy and reality is pretty broad.

Now I know this may come off as a revelation, but people break their marriage vows. Take a gander at the current divorce rates in America:

Age	Women	Men
Under 20 years old	27.6%	11.7%
20 to 24 years old	36.6%	38.8%
25 to 29 years old	16.4%	22.3%
30 to 34 years old	8.5%	11.6%
35 to 39 years old	5.1%	6.5%

Some other "revealing" statistics:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage: 41%

The divorce rate in America for second marriage: 60%

The divorce rate in America for third marriage: 73%

For shits and giggles, let's compare these statistics to car accident statistics:

* In 2009, the number of car accidents per year in the United States: 6 million*

* In 2006, the number of licensed drivers in the U.S: 203 million ** (this number should be higher, but for the life of me, I cannot find the 2009 statistics)

* The accident rate/person in America: 2.9% ***

Why the hell am I comparing divorce rates to car accident rates? Because marriage insurance isn't available, car insurance is mandatory, yet you are 20-40 times more likely to get a divorce than into an accident.

Let's be honest: nobody ever accused insurance companies of being altruistic. By definition, insurance companies provide guaranteed compensation for a loss, damage, illness, death, fire, tornado, etc in return for a monthly premium. If an accident occurs, the insurance company picks up the tab. If you stay clean, tough shit, you lose, and that twit Flo from Progressive Insurance funnels your funds into the pool.

My point is if you're paying money out the ass for car insurance, which can range anywhere from $1,000-$2,000/year, why shouldn't you pay for marriage insurance when you are 20-40 times more likely to use the coverage? Much like pre-nuptuals, marriage insurance could certainly be a hypersensitive issue. Conversely, forking out $30,000 in legal fees for a divorce attorney isn't a walk in the park.

What if a company sold marriage insurance? What if that same company would pay for your vacations and refund your premium if your marriage lasts 20-25 years? If luck prevails, and you beat the odds of not getting into an accident, the GEICO lizard is not going to whip out his wallet and reimburse the money you paid for his services.

Resources:

* per http://www.edgarsnyder.com/car-accident/resources/statistics.html

** per http://caps.fool.com/blogs/us-vehicle-registrations/155001

*** per my awesome math skills

Flo sucks, and she may cause a divorce

True story.

I was in the gym about 4 weeks ago doing my post work out cardio. The cardio room is a little stuffy. It's dimly lit with treadmills, elliptical machines and stationary bikes slammed together like deck chairs. However, there is a movie theatre-sized screen that shows ESPN 24/7, which helps me suffer through my 4-5 mile journey to nowhere.

The guy next to me was running a little to hard - the type of guy who believes if he slowed down for 3 seconds, a nuclear bomb would detonate.

Anyways, ESPN goes to break and Flo from Progressive Insurance comes on the screen. I don't know what's more humorous: Progressive Insurance believing in the strategy to promote a dopey commercial series revolving around Flo, or the fact their name is Progressive Insurance and they're utilizing an archaic advertising method.

As Flo is discussing motorcycle insurance and motions her hands as if she's revving up an engine, gym guy, who is now fixated on the commercial, comes to a complete halt and let's out a hearty chuckle. After the genuine laugh, he gets back to business, running as if it's going to cure cancer.

The thoughts running through my head ranged from the obvious (Why is this guy alive) to the more obvious (Who the hell would ever laugh at a Progressive Insurance commercial?).

The moral of the story is simple: Unless you want to humiliate yourself, don't laugh at Progressive commercials. And if my significant other were to laugh at a Progressive commercial, I would immediately ask for Marriage Insurance.